His Rose
by Amusement
Summary: A heart does not simply waltz into shadow.  [Oneshot]


I would just like to give you a heads up by saying that there are absolutely no pairings in this story. I know Xaldin seems a smidge overfond of Demyx, but I mean really, who _doesn't_ like that little sweetheart. The only love discussed here is a sort of fatherly love. Thanks.

* * *

That rose. That single, fragile blossom that tethered something as brutal and forcible as the Beast to sanity. What was it that made the delicate flower so important? So precious? Xaldin trailed a single gloved finger down the side of the encasing glass, bitter eyes closing for a brief moment as his thoughts gently ensnared the concept of heartlessness.

"The devotion. The affection. But is it love?" he asked, not quite to himself as he knew his mind harbored no answers. The Beast must love the rose, he simply must. For what other reason would he abandon his friends, his servants, his- well, Xaldin wasn't quite sure what Belle was to the creature. They cared for one another, as was most obvious, but they certainly could not attain a true relationship. No, it was completely unimaginable that such beauty could find adoration for something so hideous as a beast. The man chuckled to himself, leaning comfortably against a most precarious railing overlooking the sprawling lawns below. Xaldin carelessly discarded the sheathed rose onto the concrete floor, shaking his head with intrigue. "The Question: what causes the corruption and eventual loss of a heart?" he murmured, eyes flicking into an abandoned room adjoining the balcony. "The Answer: the destruction of the thing one loves the most."

It made sense. Without the rose, without that love, the Beast's heart would wither and fade into nothingness, and both a Heartless and a Nobody would be reborn. "Though, that's the burning question isn't it? _Does_ this blossom hold that monster's love within its dying petals?" He had to be absolutely positive that destroying the rose would, in turn, destroy the Beast. Xaldin knew he could not afford to make mistakes with that little bastard Sora running rampant through the castle. He growled, forehead furrowing in disgust. The key blade wielder had appeared so puny and weak in his previous appearance at Hollow Bastion. Xaldin recalled laughing in the company of Xigbar and Demyx, snickering at the idea of falling victim to a _kid_.

"_Demyx_." the man breathed sharply, eyes trailing towards the drowsy moon. He had never cared greatly for the bubbly sitarist in times past, but the last few weeks had trickled by with such emptiness and discontentment that Xaldin found he had needed to take solace in the young boy's spirit. They had spent entire nights sitting across various tables from one another, Xaldin listening intently to Demyx's endless chatter. It could hardly be called a friendship, but the man supposed he had still felt something stir sadly within him as Saix delivered the news of Demyx's demise. He had been murdered at the hands of that child. Xaldin's hands clenched tightly as a memory of anger flashed through his mind. He wondered, for a moment, if Demyx had remembered the feeling of fear before he faded back into an endless darkness. "Sora will find his retribution swiftly. I will make sure of it." he declared into the night sky, stroking one of his immobile lances fondly.

After a moment's ponderings, Xaldin shook his head fervently, storing his thoughts of Demyx deep in the recesses of his mind as now was not the time to let his focus slip. With one last throaty sigh, he allowed his gaze to trail back down, focusing on the crimson rose. "I suppose," he began softly, hands clasped tightly behind his back, "you _are_ the thing the Beast loves the most." Laughing uneasily, Xaldin stooped to retrieve the glass dome, a plan already formulating rapidly in his head. Taking a leaf out of Axel's book, he would burn the rose gleefully, throwing the ashes at the Beast's clawed feet. There would be no revival, no way to salvage the flower. He pictured the twisted look of anguish that would contort the monster's snout, and the man smirked silently. Smoothing his ruffled cloak, Xaldin glanced up for a moment into the shadowed room before him and froze, his gaze meeting a pair of glowing hazel eyes.

Had he a heart, it certainly would have skipped a beat in that instant. The man stared silently at the unknown intruder, blankly gaping at the motionless orbs. A sudden hiss from the darkened room shook him from his trance, and, leaping into a battle stance, Xaldin brandished all six of his lances: one held in each hand as the remaining four danced breezily in the wind.

"Show yourself!" he roared into the cluttered room, not moving from his space on the moonlit balcony. Despite his forceful request, Xaldin had not expected obedience and therefore leapt back in surprise as the eyes, and whatever occupied them, complied to his demands and began to move forward. They trailed nearer and nearer the light at an almost lazy pace, flicking from the menacing man to the weapons that spun about his legs. The eyes paused a single step from the pooling light and another hiss resounded through the doorway. Xaldin's breath caught in his throat as the eyes seemed to narrow, not in malice, but in the way they would, had a smile appeared across the intruder's face. He shuffled nervously, peering towards the grinning eyes in confusion as he wondered what fate was to befall him if his enemy could hold such mirth in the moments before a battle. What terrible secret did it bear in order to be able to show such certainty in face of imminent bloodshed? Xaldin reeled back with a jolt as the unknown antagonist stepped forward, revealing itself in the gleaming illumination.

The man's mouth dropped in unison with his floating lances. The eyes were still smiling jovially, and he could now see why. "A… _cat_?" he spluttered, taking in the unbelievable sight of a robust feline sitting calmly on the balcony, tail twitching slightly. Now that he thought back a moment, the threatening eyes _had_ seemed rather low to the ground. Xaldin groaned audibly, and threw a hand across his face in embarrassment. The creature in question merely sat, confidently eying his slumping shoulders with a snout laced in mockery. The cloaked man noticed, after a moment of thickened silence, that the cat was quite beautiful. She had a thick, flowing pelt of gray that was flecked with brown and orange splotches. She was banded down the spine and striped with jagged black lines and had a soft, dewy white chest. Xaldin lowered his hand heavily, eying the creature with an intent disgust.

"Alright, you've had your fun." He growled, brandishing a lance towards the amused feline. "Shoo! Get out of here!" he commanded. The cat, rather than leaving as asked, leapt to her paws and trotted closer to her adversary. With a soft purr rumbling through her throat, the creature skipped nimbly through his legs, rubbing against them affectionately as she went. Stiffening, Xaldin stepped back from her, eyes narrowing as a troubled memory flashed through his thoughts. "Cat… Another cat… Rose." His face tightened and he gritted his teeth as he sought to pull the elusive recollection from the corners of his mind. The reminiscence seemed almost, to Xaldin, to be mocking his futile efforts of dislodging it from his head. Yet it was certainly weakening, as snippets of memories began to swim before him in clouded arrays. Clutching the lances held in his hands, he felt his eyelids flutter closed as the memory gave way and crashed soundlessly over him.

-x-x-x-

"Hey Xaldin?" the boy asked, suddenly leaning forward from the violet chair he had been lounging in. The man in question looked up from the book clasped in his gloved hands.

"Yes?" he answered plainly to Demyx, setting the novel down on a table propped beside his own seat. The duo had been sitting silently in the expansive library for a few passing hours, and the man was not surprised at his younger companion's wish to shatter the stilled air.

"I've been thinking lately," he began, ignoring the contemptuous snort that escaped Xaldin's breath, "Mostly about us Nobodies and how we got to be like this. Without hearts, I mean. You know, I don't remember how or why I lost my heart." Demyx paused, an uneasy grin forming on his face. "And I was rather wondering if you remembered what happened to _your_s?"

The elder narrowed his eyes suspiciously, watching the discomfort dance over the boy's face. "You know as well as I the consequence of Ansem's experiments. My heart, as well as Xemnas', Xigbar's, Vexen's, Lexaeus', and Zexion's," he said, referring to his past and present cohorts, "was submerged in darkness as we delved further into matters better left untouched."

Crossing his arms meekly over his chest, Demyx shook his head with impatience. "Yes, yes I know that. But a heart does not simply waltz into shadow." He paused for an instant, beaming at his use of a musical metaphor. "I think that something must first provoke or contaminate it in order to make it susceptible. Was there not anything that could have opened your heart to the corruption of the experiments?"

The truth that emerged in his thoughts from that seemingly innocent question burned Xaldin's throat as he attempted to lie and answer "No." Catching the younger nobody's skepticism, he rubbed the back of his neck ruefully before leaning towards Demyx, a fervent gleam in his dark eyes. "_Yes_ there was something. But if I am to tell you of this, you must swear to never repeat my words." The embarrassment to be faced, should the boy let slip the story, would be dreadful to bear, but the younger member nodded wide eyed, agreeing quite truthfully to keep the secret between them. "Alright." The man sighed, shaking his head. "I was an apprentice to Ansem the Wise long before the thought of experimenting on the darkness of hearts had even occurred to him."

"He lived in an expansive castle in the town of Radiant Gardens and ,upon requesting my apprenticeship with him, invited me to join him there with his other apprentices, Xehanort and Braig. The laboratory where we spent many waking hours was chilling and an almost miserable place to conduct our work. I found what anxiety I might have held within me had grown tenfold, and after the experiments I would often find myself wandering the endless halls, striving to forget the concern. It was upon one of those aimless amblings that I discovered the courtyard." Xaldin paused as a weary smile crossed his face, his eyes clouding slightly. "The atrium was large, stretching at least one hundred feet from wall to wall. A placid pond rippled occasionally as vivid fish would breach the crisp air in fleeting instances. A lazy patch encircled the balmy grass, passing a meticulously carved stone bench placed beneath a wispy willow tree. Flowers of all colors and radiances formed a delicate blanket through the courtyard, exhibiting a sense of protection for the insects that dwelled beneath them. It was, in all accords, magnificent."

"It must have been the third or fourth time I visited the garden that, while sitting on the bench, I began to be overcome by the feeling that I was being watched. I could swear something was behind me, but every time I looked back I saw nothing. Assuring myself that I was incorrect, I tried to simply shake the thought. Suddenly, after what had seemed to be ages of discomfort, I heard a confirming rustle from the nettled bush that had taken root beside me. I leapt to my feet, prepared to either scamper or fight, when the little pest revealed herself to be nothing more than a cat." A soft laugh trickled from Xaldin's mouth, remembering the feline's smiling eyes and prancing gait. "I'm unsure, to this very day, how she arrived in that enclosed garden but I was entirely grateful of her company. I could spend hours on end just stroking her mottled pelt or flicking small leaves into the air for her to bat at playfully with outstretched claws. It took me a while to find a name suitable for my lovely companion, but eventually I settled on Rose as she reminded me quite graphically of the delicate, beautiful flower crowned in thorns. After a few months had passed I began to realize that my affection for the cat had blossomed into a strong, fatherly love. As time wore on, however, our time together grew thin. Ansem's curiosity had expanded greatly and we began spending days at a time cramped into the laboratory to conduct an experiment. As his lust for knowledge magnified he began appointing new apprentices beneath him to aid us in our tests until there were six: Xehanort, Braig, me, Even, Aeleus, and Ienzo. Our experiments were focusing then on the darkness held in the human heart and what would result from the destabilization of the balance between light and dark."

Xaldin took a deep breath, watching Demyx's expression closely. The boy seemed to be quite enthralled in the story thus far. Smiling gently, the older male continued. "It had not occurred to any of us that our experiments could be seen as cruel and unnecessary. We had killed countless creatures that had strayed too close to the castle walls, in hopes that we might discover some unknown secret within their broken bodies. The cold reality of our work had enveloped me wholly, but the flicker of love that remained in my heart protected me from its darkness. Rose kept the menacing shadows at bay and I was able to continue diving headfirst into insanity. I visited her as often as was possible, spending what precious few minutes I had playing softhearted games and caressing her soft coat." Xaldin's fists clenched as a memory of anger flashed through the empty space where his heart should had rested. "I remember one graying morning I had escaped the clammy laboratory for a short time, and strode swiftly to the courtyard as usual. Upon thrusting the wooden door open and stepping through into the delighted air of the garden I froze. The youngest apprentice Ienzo was sitting forcibly on the stone bench, hands running softly over Rose's rumbling chest. I felt a pang of jealousy that she should purr so contently in the company of someone other than me and had edged forward a pace to confront the boy, when he looked up through a curtain of silver hair. Wordlessly, he stood and strolled past my tensing body. Rose trailed slowly behind him for an instant, before looking up at me fondly. She threaded between my legs, rubbing her side against my ankles as she had done so many times before. Her eyes were full of sparkling devotion, but mine had become angry. I felt betrayed that she could be so happy in Ienzo's companionship and anger and resentment began to well within me. I didn't mean to, really, but as she passed softly before my foot the opportunity presented itself and I kicked. Regret immediately flooded my heart, as she tripped backwards, shock and pain etched on her whiskers. After an instant of staring at each other, Rose slunk beneath the bush I had first spotted her in, amber orbs flashing in unvoiced sorrow."

"Swallowing the apology I felt forming on my lips, I turned briskly and exited the suddenly stilled garden. Rather than returning to the work awaiting me in the acrid laboratory, I whisked myself in the opposite direction towards my room. Collapsed on the bed that had sat untouched for weeks, I stared at the yellowing ceiling overhead. Hours flew by, shown through a window as the receding sunlight. As night fell brokenly over Radiant Gardens, I heard the muffled sounds of footsteps outside my door; the noises of the other apprentices returning to their rooms. I was somewhat surprised that they had been released from their work, but I did not dwell on thoughts of them and our experiments. I turned back to Rose. My Rose. Remorse and grief seemed to thicken the air, choking me as a punishment for my heated actions. I could not bear the silence the room trapped me in. Swinging to my feet, I thrust the door open and tore through the deserted hall. I knew my regret followed me at a lazy pace, but if I could just reach her, I thought, perhaps her forgiveness would be enough to banish it. I gasped in pain as I fell, panting, into the whispering room. The garden seemed different at night, dreary and cold, as opposed to the comfort it shed during daylight. I stumbled over to the bush I had seen her disappear beneath, whispering her name softly. Rose did not appear. I ruffled the branches of the bush to see only empty grass beneath it. I frowned, and turned to search behind a grove of drooping trees. She was not there. I began to grow frantic as I tore the meek garden apart, searching for Rose to no avail. My chest was pounding with a terrible ache, and I found myself sprawled across the lawn, distress winding its way through my body. Then I heard it."

Xaldin covered his mouth briefly, eyes closed as the memory of that bloodcurdling screech resounded through his ears. "A terrible scream rang through the castle. Inhuman, I realized in horror. I was on my feet and out the door before I had even realized I had moved. My heart was wrenching in twists as I leapt down the stairs leading to the laboratory. I flew through the flinching door and froze. Ienzo turned slowly to face me, one cold, calculating eye watching my heart plummet into hell's devouring flames. A reflective metal table stood next to the boy, wavering slightly beneath the weight of a small cat. Her playful smile was gone, replaced by nothing more than a thin line. Her gentle amber eyes were glossy and empty, reminiscent of shattered glass. My Rose was dead. And in that instant, so was my heart." Xaldin shook his head at the dismay plastered across Demyx's childlike face. "The love that I had held had been so soundly crushed that my heart had become susceptible to the darkness we apprentices had toyed with. It took only a matter of seconds for the corruption of the shadows to overturn the light within me. You were right. Had Ienzo not destroyed my last glimmer of love, I would not have lost my heart."

The boy whistled softly, shaking his head. "I can't believe that Zexion would do something as terrible…" Demyx's voice began to trail off and the image of the duo conversing began to blur. A voice echoed from far off, whispering secrets, as the picture began to fade into oblivion.

-x-x-x-

"R-Rose," Xaldin hissed, the memory now burned clearly into his head. His body ached terribly, a likely result of the strenuous work he had taken to recall the remembrance he had tried so hard to obliterate. After that night spent with Demyx, he had forced himself to forget any association with the garden he had once stumbled upon. He had forgotten the soft laughter of the tickling leaves brushing against his cheeks. He had forgotten the dewy grass that cushioned him in the waning hours of daylight. He had forgotten his Rose and the love that radiated from her fragile form. But no longer would those memories elude him. He knew now of the fleeting days spent in that courtyard and had no intention of allowing those thoughts to escape him again.

Xaldin looked down at the lanky feline, stretched comfortably across the concrete, and she in turn gazed upwards at him with subtle amusement. Crouching down to stroke her arching back, he smiled softly. "The Question: what causes the corruption and eventual loss of a heart?" The cat looked up and purred softly, a simple response to a query so debated. "The Answer: the destruction of the _person_ one loves the most." The man paused, then added with laughter tingeing his curving lips, "Or the cat."

Destroying the rose the Beast protected so vigorously would not push him into the darkness. He may hold affection for the dying flower, but not love. Xaldin now knew what was left for him to accomplish in order to complete the task assigned. A malicious smile crossed his face as he tucked the rose against his chest. The moon above wavered softly in the bleeding sky, blending against the trees that echoed the words whispered by the mysterious man who had disappeared from sight, shrouded in dancing shadows. "Belle. _She_ is his Rose."

* * *

Poor Xaldin, he's so underloved. By the way, the whole random cat thing? Yeah, came from my own, real life cat Rosie who was glaring at me from across my bed as I pondered possible storylines. I luff her to bits, so I thought to myself, why not?! And there she is. I think the story came out alright, despite the whole feline plot. Although Xaldin did get a little ooc I believe, because he certainly wasn't that lovey-dovey when he was kicking my ass in the game. But ahhh well. 


End file.
